The Tears Will Be There

So, my life is pretty much as bad as it can get right now. Now that your gone, I don't really know what to do anymore. I'm lost and confused and just all bad right now. I really wish we can get back together, but how rarely do ANY of my wishes come true? I wished at 11:11 all the time and I don't recall any of them ever being answered. I really am all mixed up right now. I want to talk to you but I know you wouldn't want to talk anything else but below friends. I want to talk like how we did before, just back to normal. It's so painful that I can't even describe it, I don't think I've ever been this hurt before. I really think I would rather die off than live another day here without you. I'm just really lost right now. But unlike before, your never going to come find me even if i was lost. I don't even know where I'm trying to get at, but I just really want to go back to when we first got together. Everything was just so right, so right. I really don't want to ignore you, but even if I talk to you, you'll just sound really cold to me. I really don't want that as it will hurt me even more. So I guess I'll just pretend the past 7 months was all one long very sweet dream. A dream that will never be dreamt again. Just very mixed thoughts right now honey. I still prefer to call you that because I really don't know what else I can call you by. I really loved you and will still be loving you as each day goes by. Sorry for ignoring you, please forgive me. Bye honey, I love you.