Day 1

I'm going to pretend this is you, haha, how foolish of me. But I'm still going to do it. Last night, I thought I had hope, hope to be able to talk things out, hope to go back to normal, hope to be with you again. So this morning, I woke up pretty early, hoping to get home as fast as I can to talk to you. But when I finally called you, no answer. Again and again, but just the same voice mail. And then again, and you finally picked up. I was really, truthfully happy when I heard your voice because it's so sweet, and it's the voice I want to hear no matter when, where, why, what, and so on. I was looking forward to talking to you again, but obviously, that thought was no where near your head. Maybe I'm a bit clingy and selfish like you said I was, but who wouldn't be when it comes to the love of their life right? You tell me to leave you alone, to not talk to you, to stay 10 feet away, to not have anything to do with you. But on the reality, is that even really possible? Answer is no, but I will try to today/tonight if it'll get me the chance to talk things out with you. It's just kind of hard when knowing your going to be out with some other guy, picking you up, driving you everywhere, going to the party with you, being with you afterwards, and so on. But if that's really what it takes, then I'm going to only have to trust you won't do anything beyond friends status with him. I can trust that because you aren't that type. Just hope that tonight goes well for you and you have the happiest day you can get. But I'll be on the side, waiting for you to maybe even have your eye on me for a second. At least that way, I'll know your thinking about me for a bit. I'll wait and I'll wait and I'll wait more, until you'll come back, I'll be waiting. Hope you have the best day of your life but not for me tonight. Hope to see you tonight happy and smiling since I am not longer capable of doing so. I love you Huynh Tran, and this love will never go away, it really won't. And again, I miss you honey, bye.

Girlfriend's 16th

This should have been a special day for the both of us. It started fine, it went fine, and it ended like that, shit. I really tried to have it happy for you, I really did. It's still my fault that I said that stupid ass shit, but you gave me a chance. I took the chance and acted like it was nothing. I really want to just kill myself for it. You offered me, and I took it and threw it on the side like it was shit. I truthfully didn't mean to do it, just I'm not smart enough to think like a normal boyfriend. I'm really truthfully happy because your in my life, the way you care for me, the way you do stuff for me, how you make me lunch even though you have to make it in the early ass morning, the way you put me to sleep, the way you hold me, the way you make me laugh like no others, the way you love me, the way you keep giving me chances when I just keep screwing up, the way you call me to wake me, the way you look at me, the way you would take all your friends' "You could have done better", and "What were you thinking", and so much more and just took it down and stayed with me, the way you would lose friends for me, the way you are, just being you, and theres so much more. I really tried to make it a happy memory today honey, but like you said, no matter how hard i try, I'll fuck it up. It's just that nothings on my side maybe. Or maybe Friday the 13th really is some curse.. who knows? I really hope things will work out between us my dearest Karen Huynh Tran Thi Ngoc Bich, haha I bet your surprised I even remember that name huh? I really hope tomorrow is another day and that we will be the same as we were, lovers. I'm sorry honey for today, I really am. I broke my promise of how you'll get it good today, I'm really sorry. I hope not talking to me will really calm you down and just give you time to think whether I'm an important person in your life or not. Because to me, you'll always be my number 1, always. Know that I won't give up on you, I'll never let go of your hand. "You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape my love." Bye honey I'll be writing to this as if it were you when I miss you. Please do so the same. I love you, bye.